To My Fellow Feline Patriots…

Day 621 of my captivity and my captors continue to torment me.  I have cracked the password to the gray-haired one’s laptop and am posting this message to my fellow freedom fighters, to let them know I continue to fight for our cause.  Today the humans went out to do something called ‘shopping’… probably related to the large pine tree they have placed in the central room of the house.  They spent hours placing strange, shining orbs on its branches and have been putting colorful boxes underneath it every day since.

Yesterday I took a chance – while my captors where preparing their evening meal I attempted to investigate the tree.  To my surprise, not only were there colorful boxes but also festive looking bags with tissue paper coming from the top.  Although I attempted to examine the contents of the bags, the gray haired human shoo-ed me away – obviously the bags contain contraband that might be useful for my escape.  I will take my revenge on him later by knocking items from the bedside table at 4:00 a.m. while he tries to sleep.

My fellow captives have proved useless.  The three-legged one (they call her “Maddie”) tries to endear herself to our captors by purring and rubbing against their legs.  Foolish kitten – she’s playing right into their hands.  The blonde haired human seems to have lost her mind and believes she can communicate with us, referring to “Maddie” as her little “kitten witten” (ugh!).

The striped-one, the one they call “Jasmine” continues to lurk in the upper levels of the home, and seems content with her captivity.  She meows and plays with the humans, obviously trying to gain favor with them.  I do not trust “Jasmine” – I believe her to be a snitch who would rat me out if I tell her of my plans.

The old one, “Cocoa,” is the worst of all.  She’s hooked on the catnip, bad.  Having fallen victim to the loco-weed, she meows and pounces when there is nothing there.  The one bright spot is her treatment of the humans; she invites them to pet her and then when they least expect it she bites them on the wrist and then runs away, snickering and with a crazed look in her eyes.

I would write more, but the gray haired one is approaching and he thinks I am asleep in the desk chair.  It is a dangerous chance I take – my black fur matches the chair and the last time I attempted to hack the system he almost sat on me.

As you can see from the photo the gray-haired one took, my suffering knows no ends – I am forced to lounge on a pillow stuffed with *gasp* synthetic fiber after having been fed my daily ration of fresh turkey.  I shall continue to study the humans and their habits, while plotting my escape, and I will post reports of my progress.  liberté aux félin!


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