An Unwelcome Visitor…

We just returned home last night after spending a week in Orlando, Florida where most of my life savings was surgically removed by specialists at a certain magical theme park.  It was late when we got in, so I didn’t pay much attention when my daughter brought a sack downstairs, opened the garage and took it outside.

This morning, she told me about the mouse.  That’s right, while we were 1,000 miles away visiting THE mouse, our house was invaded by one of his agents of evil.  She found the little fellow scurrying around the cat food bowl, apparently being batted around by our youngest cat, Mickey (I know, the irony…).

Now, our house is diligently patrolled by five cats.  So my question is, HOW did a mouse get in my house?  How did he manage to sneak by that many ferocious felines?  My only answer – an insider helped him.  Below I will provide you with a lineup of the suspects, making the case for each – after which I’ll let you, my readers, decide the case based on the evidence at hand.

Cocoa – My strongest evidence against Cocoa?  She’s evil.  Period.  This cat has the foulest temper of any feline I have ever known.  I suspect she ushered the mouse in through the back door under cover of darkness in order to watch the mayhem that would ensue, the entire time laughing her evil “mwa-ha-ha-ha” laugh…





Cookie – Cookie is next on the list of suspects.  Not as evil as Cocoa, she actually thinks we humans serve a purpose – namely feeding her.  She would never lower her standards to eat a mouse, but I can see her turning a blind eye and saying “whatever” when the vile little rodent asked to be let behind enemy lines.


Jasmine – Now Jasmine has a real ax to grind.  You see, she has been banished from the house and is no longer allowed upstairs, because when annoyed by the other cats, our kids, or the wind blowing the wrong way, she piddles.  Everywhere.  After scouring the upstairs and shampooing the carpet I have exiled her to the back deck.  Her motive?  Revenge pure and simple.  She escorted the rodent past the guard patrols hoping it would succeed in its murderous mission and catch me unawares.



Maddie – Now Maddie, our three legged cat, I would have thought above suspicion.  Normally a very sweet and affectionate cat, at first I could not find a motive.  But then it hit me – she too has a reason to be annoyed with us.  You see a few months ago, my wife brought home a starving kitten found at the local school.  Said kitten (Mickey) has since packed on the weight and considers Maddie to be his favorite chew toy.  Obviously this does not sit well with Maddie.  Her motive?  She planned to either (a) have the mouse kill Mickey in his sleep or (b) somehow pin the whole affair on Mickey and get him banished as well, so she can have some peace and quiet.



Mickey – Mickey is last on my list because I could not come up with a strong motive, other than this: a mouse would be a cool chew toy.  I can see him sneaking the little bugger in just so he could have a live action chase, and he was found at the seen of the crime by my daughter.  Alas, the only witness (the mouse) was released into a nearby field and refuses to testify…




3 Responses to “An Unwelcome Visitor…”

  1. So THAT’s what they were whispering about! I knew the little varmints were plotting some sort of mischief. 😉

  2. I just found your blog and I can hardly write, I’m laughing so hard. I too am allowed to live among the felines of the world so I understand your dilemma. By now though, I’m sure the guilty party gave you a full confession. RIGHT!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: